Artoville

Friday, 28 August 2015
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Grim Reaper Says Debt is Paid

   A Weightlifter visited the Sports Psychologist today after being troubled with violent, stabbing migraines that felt somewhat like a

Active Transportation 

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Engineer on Bridge Probably Has No Plans to Jump

An Engineer is mysteriously stationed on the bridge, where he is overseeing the trains as they pass. A storm of speculation has erupted amongst bored residents driven mad with curiosity over the reason for his behavior.
There is specualtion that the Giant Man Mayor may be …

Musician Proclaims “Beautiful Morning” for Pres.

  The musician performed earlier today in honor of the President’s new transportation legislation. He sank “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning”

Artoville No Longer Considered “New French Riviera”

   The Florist famed for her somewhat creepy involvement in exposing the theft of the Crown Jewels by planting secret

No Notice for Noble Ollie

 A stunt by the skate champion has inspired extreme sports critics to ask that age old question: if someone

President Passes Transportation Policy Aimed at Public Displays of Dancing and Texting

The President, whose recent actions in the Dance Club were drawing suspicion and criticism from certain Artoville citizens, has

Biodiversity 

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Reality TV Judge Wraps on Artoville, May Order Florist Arrangement

The reality TV judge is leaving Artoville via the rail system now that her show “Cow Time” has finished filming. It will start airing this fall on NBC.
The reality TV judge doesn’t have any definite plans to visit Artoville in the future, but she was seen …

Bride’s Star Chart Shows Tennis Star

The fortune teller has concluded from her star chart that the bride will not marry Prince Charming but the tennis

Child Star Hits up DJ for Social Media Storm

The Child Star of the huge hit, “Far from the Madding Crowd” is seeking her next big thing. She

Wildlife Photographer Scopes out Lawn Wildlife

The wildlife photographer – who recently experienced a career change when she realized that politicians were far less intimidating

Paramedic Rescues Paediatrician after “Biodiversity” Episode

The paramedic has come to the aid of the paediatrician who was stuck on the tracks. The paediatrician was

Energy Efficiency 

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Architect Devises Solar-Powered Filtration and Hydro-Electric System to Avert Alien Contamination

The recent near contamination of Artoville’s entire water source by an alien life force has alarmed more than just Artoville citizens. Upon hearing about the close shave with disaster, the Architect went into immediate action. Sources report that he immediately said goodbye to his weekly …

Motor Racing Legend Thrills Crowds with Criminal Acts!

A Motor Racing Legend continues his downward spiral into a life of crime by engaging in yet another act

Robot Designer Promotes Disease Curing Benefits of Robot Cow Milk

Artoville’s robot designer, under suspicion for the past few days for his part in the cloned-cow deception, is trying

‘Smokestacks Lack Tact’ Activist Alleges

An activist is protesting against a coal smokestack that is spewing bad fumes into the air. “Coal is one of the

Engineer on Bridge Probably Has No Plans to Jump

An Engineer is mysteriously stationed on the bridge, where he is overseeing the trains as they pass. A storm

Invasive Species 

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First Lady Patches Things Up with the Queen

 

Our readers will by now be able to sympathize with the First Lady, who has had a week of ups and downs, from her falling out with the Queen and other friends, to her fall from the tree, to her suspicions of the President. Some …

Breaking: Alien Inhabits Astronomer, Aims to “Take Over” Artoville

Artoville citizens are advised to be extremely cautious of the developing situation that involved the Astronomer forcing the Genie

High School Teacher a U.S. Dropout

A high school teacher has decided to call it quits in Artoville and officially transfer to Japan. He’s seen

The Hills Are Alive… with Ballet Dancers!

  The local ballet dancers have already received press for their significant innovations in the field of modern ballet, including

Kale Smoothie Fad: Does it Increase Vampire Bloodlust?

A Chef has spent countless hours perfecting a recipe that he hoped would reverse the effects of a kale

Reducing, Reusing, Recycling 

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Robot Designer Promotes Disease Curing Benefits of Robot Cow Milk

Artoville’s robot designer, under suspicion for the past few days for his part in the cloned-cow deception, is trying to reclaim his good image. Though many call his cow ‘deception’ unforgivable, he has made many statements and interviews emphasizing his excellent intentions. “First off, no, …

Super Mum Is Super Scold, Says Basketball Prodigy

  Super Mum recently removed the basketball prodigy from the water tower. The prodigy began practicing last week in the hopes

From Duchamp to Rauschenberg to Superdad, a Mixed Media Artist Pedigree

  Superdad has settled in a small cottage in rural Artoville to hone his new craft: mixed media art. “I want

Child Detective Continues Robot Cow Investiagtion

 The child detective followed the robot designer back to his workshop today to continue her investigation. Earlier this week,

Animal Lover a Generous Doolittle for Banker, First Lady

The animal lover has not only mastered the rare art of speaking to animals but is now spreading her